I recently did an intensive meditation program. Its amazing how transforming these programs can be. Suddenly, a large part of my life seemed so meaningless, so abstruse, and yet obvious. I know its an oxy-MORON! Its almost funny!
It involved a lot of introspection. I began examining my own thoughts, desires, feelings and in a more spiritual sense, my soul. I began contemplating. I wasn’t even aware of all the junk that was in there.
Sure was a great insight for me. I became a stranger to myself, yet closer and more connected to the world around me. I suddenly started feeling responsible for everything happening around me and yet so disconnected to all the emotions. I was already emotionally disconnected (according to my friends) but this was uncharted territory.
I just couldn't get enough of it, so I registered myself for a higher course. I am looking forward to an extremely intensive form of meditation, next month. It is called Bhava-Spandana. Bhava means emotions and Spandana means to react to it (for the un-initiated). It should give me more scary insights about the strange me.
When I was planning my leave for the same, I was joking with my HR that I might end up renouncing the world and might not come back to work. She almost refused to give me leave...
But hey, I have some serious cleaning up to do.